*********Updated on August 15, 2008: Ian has been sleeping in the crib since the date of this original post. It is amazing how quickly he falls asleep. People will say that if you co-sleep they will never learn to sleep on their own and never go to sleep in their own beds. It is just not true! The key is a gradual transition with only one change at a time. In other words, don't bring your new baby home from the hospital and try to put kid #1 in his own bed or own room. Too many big changes! I am now pregnant with my second child and by the time #2 is born, Ian will have slept in his own bed for longer than my entire pregnancy.
Original post:
For the third or fourth night in a row, Ian has nursed but not fallen asleep and then slept in the crib. We set the crib up about a month ago and I have been pointing it out to him saying,"Ian's bed. Look at Ian's bed." If he was interested, I put him in the crib to play and check it out during the day, not at sleeping time to get used to it.
For the transition, I have either let him play in his crib with his trains or sung him mostly to sleep. He has stayed in the crib all night. Last night, he woke up and start to cry. He stood up, looked around and then laid back down and went to sleep. The crib is right by our bed, so he isn't far. We like co-sleeping, but lately he has had major movements in his sleep so we decided to try the crib. He still naps on our bed, but he doesn't seem to move as much during naps as he does as night. Before I attempted this transition, I stopped nursing him until he fell asleep for a few weeks. I nursed until he stopped actively sucking and then I sang to him or rocked him the rest of the way. Sometimes just rolling over is enough. He will fuss a bit but settle down. If he doesn't settle then I do the singing or rocking. I've found that the key with singing to sleep is that you should not try to sing over crying. Sing softly, directly in the ear and they will calm down and surrender.
Gentle works. Gradual works.
When we transition him to his own room (which we aren't in a hurry to do), we will do it the same way. We already call the room where his clothes are,"Ian's room". We will buy a bed and new linens and set it up and talk about it for awhile before there is an attempt to have him sleep in it. I think when we are ready, he will be too!
3 comments:
I remember those days! From 7mo-13mos, Brian's crib was next to the wall, opened, with our bed (no frame) next to the crib and secured the crack between with sheets (it couldn't move). He could, and did, wander from crib to bed, but he also liked having his own space and cool sheets.. well, his and the cats. From 13mos to almost 2, it was just Brian and me. Brad was overseas. When he rejoined us, it was a little crowded, but we set up Brian's room - with his help - and he moved himself in one night. He'd nurse before bed, and when he woke up. He was easy though. I did some singing and rocking, but more for comfort and bonding.
We never even set the crib up for Honor. She didn't take as much room! We put our mattress on a frame when she was 18mo - she hopped up and down. She needed more convincing that I was not a sleeping aid (the momifier). She loved my singing, but not rocking. She still does - it's the best thing for calming her down. She had her own room at 18mos and napped there, but wasn't comfortable about moving in permanently until almost 3yos.
I remember reading somewhere that you should leave when your child calms, but is still awake, and they'll learn to calm themselves and get to sleep better. I don't know. I found that advice was way too generic. Brian would often fall asleep very quick. With Honor, it would depend on how tired she was. Rousing afterwards was always completely random - sometimes they'd calm themselves, sometimes not.
Good luck!!
It is great to hear success stories. It is going well. I am not in a hurry to get him in his own room because the other rooms are on the other side of the house and one is being used for exercise equipment and the other for a guest bedroom and office. We need a 4 bedroom! It is nice to have him in the crib. Now, if I could only get the dog to stop squeezing me out!
I wasn't in a hurry either, esp as a week after Brian moved himself out, he caught a virus and had a fever - and he didn't want to come back! So how was I to keep an eye on him through the night??!
I didn't know anyone else who had co-slept and transitioned. I only knew of one other family who co-slept! Everyone else just told me to 'let (Brian) cry himself to sleep'! We just followed our instincts and figured it out as we went.
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