Fly Lady Step 1: Shine Your Sink

Habit 1 for Fly Lady: Shine your sink.
Before:


After:

Progress

Exercise: Check. See previous post.
Clean up: Check. The housekeeper came today. OK so that is kind of cheating, but still done.
Dinner: Check. Leftovers for Ian and Curt and I are going out to dinner. We were supposed to start the childbirth classes tonight, but with Curt's crazy schedule we aren't going to be able to do them (more on that later). I had already asked the housekeeper to stay late to babysit, so we decided to go out. I don't think we've ever done this before. We are going for Indian or Thai.

Goals

1. Exercise, Including Kegels:

I just did my Lisa Hart Fit Mama exercise dvd this morning. I let Curt take the car so Ian wouldn't have to wake up and then of course I screwed around checking e-mail, going bed to bed, wandering around the house aimlessly thinking Ian was going to wake up any minute. But, at 8:45am I started. He woke up when I was almost half way through and actually let me finish.

Ian's natural wake up time will give me plenty of time to do my workout before he gets up as long as I don't have to take Curt to work. We leave about 6:30am when we take Curt to work and Ian usually wakes up for the day on the way to the office, about 2 hours earlier than he would naturally wake up. He compensates by taking a long nap in the afternoon. I don't want to lose the nap, but it would be fine if it were shorter. We are trying to get a second car, a beater, just to get Curt back and forth to work, to give me time to workout. Also, Ian is really getting too heavy for me to carry, especially when he is asleep (dead weight). If I didn't have to pick him up, I might be more successful in making dinner more often.

I am going to go back to yoga in a few weeks. I still have about 20 classes to use I think. I am supposed tostart Korean meditation mid-September, but I don't know all the traveling will let that happen. Still, I want to get purposeful, daily exercise in. Running around after a toddler doesn't count. It doesn't get you in shape. I am not trying to lose weight during pregnancy or even prevent weight gain, just strengthen my muscles and endurance in preparation for delivery. Also, improve my general health and well-being.

Does anyone have any suggestions of other good prenatal workout dvds?

2. Cleaning:
Make the bed in the morning. Pick up the entry way, livingroom, diningroom and kitchen before Curt comes home.

3. Food:
Increase my vegetable in-take and have dinner ready or at least ready for Curt to cook before he gets home, Monday through Friday.

For the Born-Organized among you, these goals may seem small and pathetic, but for people like me, who despise routine and it is not natural to have a routine, these daily tasks can be overwhelming. I am not lazy in general, but can't seem to get it together for things like that. That is why I like FLY Lady. I found my kind and tools to help. I know it is possible, but it is hard to implement. Cairo Connie's sister-in-law, Christine, whose blog I follow, has 11 kids and her house always looks better than mine in the pictures. She has older kids who can help, but I'm sure they cause their share of messes as well. It still takes organization to keep everyone on task and helping. Even without Ian, I am messy, but Ian has the ability to cause destruction quickly. It really does make a difference to pick up the toys once a day and make him start over. It would be better if I could stay on top of him and have him put one toy back before getting something else out, but that is very advanced for me. The other funny thing is that I am very good at organizing people and figuring out what tasks to do in what order to solve a problem at work or in an organization, but I can't seem to do it at home.

Need to FLY Again

Got to get back in the FLY Lady routine. There are things I need to do for myself like Kegels, Spinning Babies Exercises, exercising, getting the dog exercised, making dinner and keeping the house from being a total disaster that I just can't manage. The short time that I did the FLY Lady system, I was much more successful. It usually takes several attempts to fully implement. You build your routines slowly to prevent burnout, but going on vacation throws everything off as well.

If you are struggling with getting things done, check out FLY Lady. The people this works for are not lazy, but don't like structure. The system teaches you to embrace routine/structure and shows you how it is liberating because you don't have to think about what you should be doing but don't want to do, you just do it, automatically. It takes a lot less time that way. It is hard, because, like exercising, even though I feel better when I am doing it, getting started and sticking with it is hard. You have to do it consistently until it becomes a habit for it to be relatively painless. Still, it is nice to have the floor cleaned up when I walk in the house. Even though Ian takes everything out again, picking things up a few times a day does make a difference psychologically. It is nicer for Curt when he comes home as well. It is calmer and more inviting. With Curt's late hours, I really need to cook dinner more, or at least do the prep instead of waiting for him to get home and asking him,"What are you making for dinner?" I have been doing better with that. I definitely think menu planning would be good for me. If I plan meals for the week before I go shopping, I can make sure I buy and use all the ingredients. We can (and do) eat leftovers so I don't even need 7 meals. We eat the same things for breakfast everyday, so that is easy and we usually eat leftovers for lunch, so the key is making dinner several times a week.

Working Through Anxiety

The vacuum is a keeper. It is definitely more substantial than the cheap vacuums I have purchased in the past and seems to pick up on the bare floors pretty well.

The GPS is going back. It just isn't that easy to use and the manual is terrible. Old Karen would not return it because I felt I should be smart enough to use it. But, as Curt and my friend, Chad, always say,"faulty design". It is too expensive to keep when I couldn't find the things I was looking for. I don't want to put the effort in to figure it out and I don't think I will, so it is going back. Curt bought it so he needs to return it. We have 15 days, but I want to try to do it today or tomorrow.

Instead, I need to start learning Korean and make an effort to find a good road map.

On exercising, I bought a 30 class pass for yoga. Among the options, you can do unlimited for 1 month, 3 times a week for 3 months, or a 10-, 20-, or 30- class card. In May, I did unlimited for 1 month. Unfortunately, due to babysitting being full, I couldn;t go as much as I wanted. It was still cheaper per class than the 10 or 20 class card, though. I would like to 3 times a week, so it would seem that the 3 times a week for 3 months would be best, but if we travel and miss a week, then you can't make that up. I've also booked for 4 times a week for the first two weeks of June. However, after buying the class card, I realized that while the per class rate is less than unlimited, unless I make the card last for more than 2 months, I would have been better off getting the unlimited. I guess I will just see how this goes and re-evaluate the next time I need to do my contract based on how much I am going.

I was supposed to go to yoga tomorrow, but I am getting highlights instead. I love the yoga studio but going 4 times a week is not sustainable because it takes half the day. I don't have the motivation to get other stuff done when I get back. I was doing well with Fly Lady when I got dressed first thing in the morning, but with yoga, I don't do hair or makeup because I am going to sweat in the class. I could do it when I get home, but I haven't been. So, the plan is to go 2-3 times a week. Wednesdays are Ian's gymnastics days and I want one day where Ian and I go exploring somewhere. I have been trying to find someone else to go with us, but so far we just can;t get it together to schedule things.

Curt hasn't been able to exercise because he has to be to work too early. The half hour difference in travel time between driving and the metro could be used for exercising is I drove him in, but I don't like getting up. He would like to go to spin class at the base at 5:15pm, but something always happens and he can't get there because he is still working. He gets home at 6:30pm at the earliest if I pick him up, but often it is more like 7:30pm and then he is too tired. I usually get Ian and Roxxy to the playground once a day, but Roxxy really doesn't get enough exercise.

So, something's got to give. I have had to take Curt in to work a few times last week and today because he had to be there even earlier than usual. When I got home, I felt awake, but Ian went back to sleep so I have been thinking about it and we've come up with a new plan to try to get our exercise in: Curt will exercise on the treadmill and bowflex in our apartment in the morning and I will take Roxxy out for a good, hard walk at the same time. That way, if Ian wakes up, Curt will be able to take care of him, but it is unlikely that he will wake up. Then, I will drive Curt to work. When I get home, I will put Ian back in bed, take a shower, get dressed and start my day. Might even be able to get an abdominal or pilates workout in when I get back from dropping Curt off, but I am not going to try to do that in the beginning.

Other things causing anxiety: replacement stroller has not shipped yet; the postal idiots are making us run in circles trying to return the original Gaiam box (that was sent back erroneously by the postal people and some how has come back to us , though we've already received a replacement shipment); house in is CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome); haven't mailed Father's Day cards; etc. etc.

I think this exercise routine will work. I hope so. Curt, Roxxy and I need it!

Fly Lady, Take Me Away!

We've fallen off the Fly Lady wagon, but as Fly Lady says, just start back up again. I just don't know how the house seems to fall apart completely so quickly. The more I am FLYing the longer it takes, but it was a rough day today.

At Gymnastics class, Ian was totally uncooperative except for the tunnel and the balance beam. I know I need to let him do things in his time, but I am used to him being the best in the class no matter what class it is or where we are, he is the star. Gymnastics is helping him follow directions more, but he does not like going through the stations. He does not like to sit with me and sing songs, but he is starting to do the hand motions with the songs. I have to remember to strike a balance between working with him on the skills and letting him enjoy himself and come to it on his own. I got off balance today because I got frustrated and he was throwing himself around. Since he liked the beam and wanted to do more beam while the others were singing, that is what we did. He refused to do a forward roll on the ground at the forward roll station, but he did do a forward roll on the beam (I think it is about 2 feet off the ground, but I was holding him). I saw him pour water on his pants, but he also had a really wet diaper so I couldn't tell what it was so he had to do the class in his t-shirt and diaper. The class ended at 10:30 and then I had to get to the hospital for Ian's appointment. I stopped by to make sure our insurance got changed but the lady was busy and I needed to get to his appointment so we left. We sat in the waiting room until 11:30am and then everyone started to leave. I went to the recption to make sure that they knew we were still there. 10 more minutes passes and I told the medic that if everyone went to lunch I was going to lose it! Finally the doctor came out, I was almost crying. I had forgotten the cheerios and crackers in the car and Ian had been crying for the past 20 minutes,"Cer-real-eal! Cereal! Cer-real-eal!" I didn't want to run out to the car because I didn't want to miss our appointment, the receptionist is Korean and it is hard to know if they fully understand you so I didn't want to risk telling her I'd be right back and missing the appointment. At the same time, I thought, even if I do get into this appointment, the insurance people will beat lunch when I finish so I won't be able to get that done. Luckily, the doctor came out before I really lost it. I tried to calm myself quickly and he was apologetic. I appreciate that they take time with patients and things happen, I just didn't want to slip through the cracks, especially since as civilians, we have to pay to be treated at military facilities.

Anyway, the reason for the appointment is that Ian's head is mis-shapen and has been since the womb (he was a c-section, but stuck in the same breech position for the last 3 months). I thought someone would have said something before but he has always had a lot of hair so maybe the doctors hadn't noticed. He had his hips evaluated at Shriner's so they should have noticed, but no one ever said anything. I keep hearing things about head shape so I wanted someone to look at his head. The doctor said it will probably always be like that, but it won't hurt him and that if they were going to do something, it would have had to have been done when he was much younger. Oh well. Hope he doesn't go bald like Curt!

Anyway. Stopped by to deal with the insurance. Gave the new card. We couldn't check the claim status because the rest of the people were at lunch, but at least I think I got that task done. Again, some communication difficulties because the employee was Korean. Bureaucracy compounded by different languages is tough. I guess I will know if the interaction was successful if I get another notice on the bill.

When we got home to the trashed house, I decided to tackle the most unappealing tasks first: the food trash. There was some in a pot by the new composter that was very disgusting (failed interpretation of the directions so we had to start over). Bugs were breeding in it. Gross. Got it out. Then had to make a second trip for the can and bowl in the kitchen. Ian was not very cooperative on these excursions in the rain, but I needed to get them done. Afterwards, we had lunch and I tried to put Ian down for a nap. It took awhile, but he is finally out. Now, I am soaking the food collection can. Need to clean up the kitchen so we can start fresh now that the composter is working.

Another thing we are working on is tracking our expenditures and making a budget. It will take time, but my goal is to start June 1. I have to do lots of prep work to set things up between now and then. Plan to Fly lady it and do it in 15 minute chunks. Gather the info slowly and get more and more detailed.

So today, I need to clean the food collection can, clean the kitchen, make dinner and clean up afterwards. 15 minutes on the treadmill. 15 minutes of working on the finances. If I have time, clean the Master Bathroom sink, toliet and tub.

Blog post done. Time to work!

Filing Failures

I had a bit of a relapse in FLYing. I put filing on my list of things to do. I did not want to file. I spent the past few days worrying about filing, making excuses not to file and not doing anything else. As a result, the filing did not get done and the house is a total disaster (but the bed is still made). As I was fretting about this undone filing, I considered using tomorrow's CDC Hourly Care slot that I have for Ian for filing instead of yoga. That would satisfy two urges: put off filing for another day and avoid driving as I am still not confident.

Sadly, this is how I have always worked, until I get into a mad frenzy and get things done. School was like this. I would procrastinate and then study at the last minute or take all night to write the paper. I always got good grades so I never really paid the price that caused me to change this behavior. Even during the all-nighters, most of the time was spent dealing with avoidance and anxiety. When I finally got down to writing, it was stream of consciousness.

I think back to living with roommates and how much better it would have been if I had known about Fly Lady or known why I couldn't get things done. Mike (former 942 roommate) and I used to put on music and clean the kitchen together, usually after cooking. It was always his initiative and we always had a great time. He was very fun, yet, very thorough. I never wanted to clean for two reasons: one, I didn't think I had time to do the job right and two, I knew no one else would clean.

Fly Lady wipes away both of those things:
1. By creating routines, you create less mess and as well as incentives to do more and by using the timer you can force yourself to do something for 15 minutes and then take a break instead of spending days fussing about the task instead of tackling it.
2. Fly Lady has the concept of having the view that you are "blessing" your family by keeping a clean house. She says to change your attitude and just get things done and as you do others will get on board, even if they don't, as in the case of roommates, you will feel better if you remove the bitterness and just get things done.

I remember living with two roommates who drove each other crazy. Both liked things neat, but one worried about hygiene and the other worried about appearances. K would take the dish sponge and wipe the floor. Things like that drove A crazy. I sided with A on hygiene, but I didn't do much cleaning.

In the past few years, I have lived at my parents' house a lot. I have not been very helpful. My mom does almost everything for the house. I remember that my sister and I fought her on everything that had to do with chores when we were younger. I was amazed to see that brothers took care of things on their own, or when asked, for the most part they just did it. They asked my mother for a vacuum cleaner for their dorm room their freshman year of college. Who are they? What did my parents do with them that they didn't do with my sister and I? Or what was in my sister and I that we were so different. My sister now helps a lot more, but I was still resistant. I told my mother to tell me what to do, because I just don't like to clean and I know it is wrong and she shouldn't have to tell me, but I needed her to give me tasks in order for me to contribute because I get overwhelmed thinking of what I could do and then I don't do anything. She also likes things done a certain way, so I would worry that it wouldn't be how she wanted it. I didn't cook much either when I have lived at home recently for the same reason.

Part of the resistance to change is reluctance to admit that what you've done in the past was wrong, or not the best method. Well, let me say it here and now, I was wrong. I was crippled by perfectionism. I apologize to my mother and my roommates (both the clean roommates and the dirty ones) for being messy.

But, it is not too late. Tonight, I filed. The pile I have avoiding took less than 10 minutes to file including making new labels for the new files. I just want to slap myself. Now, I do need to go through and do some refining work on the files, but that was not the task for today. Just filing. Just do it.

What else can be done in 10-15 minute increments? Learning Korean? Working out on the treadmill? Playing with my son? Paying attention to the dog? Writing a novel? Studying road maps of Seoul? You get the picture. Maybe some day, I will get it. Today, I made progress.

Reforming a Hoarder

Today, Curt is working on his closet. He loves to buy white socks, undershirts, underwear and workout clothes especially. He buys in bulk and often. Why do you need 100 pairs of white socks (sadly, this is not an exaggerated number)? So today, we are using the Fly Lady timer and he is going through them: tossing what is old and worn out and then putting 10 pairs of each type back in the drawer. The excess will go on the top shelf of the closet to be put in the rotation as the other stuff wears out. Old undershirts make great rags so we will be set in that area as well. We don't own any dressers and I really don't want to buy any so we are trying to fit everything in the closet. I went through my clothes before I left Egypt and got rid of more before I left Erie. He got rid of a lot before we left Erie also, but it is more painful for him to do it. I am really proud of his efforts and ability to let the stuff go! We want to get his clothes done before he goes to Georgia so he knows exactly what he has. There are lots of his clothes in the Texas shipment that he needs to go through as well. Macon Goodwill is getting a major donation!

This solves the problem of having too many clothes and never having anything to wear. I really donated a lot of clothes in Egypt. Things I hadn't worn in years, things that never fit right: out! I still have items I could probably get rid of and I am working on that. The second part of this is making better purchases to begin with, just because it is on sale (or even clearance) does not mean it is a bargain if it doesn't fit right or you don't need it.

We also plan to start weekly menu planning to increase the quality and variety of food we eat, decrease preparation time and decrease waste. But, Baby Steps. We have to tackle this stuff first.

Shopping & FLYing

I took the metro to Apgujeong, a ritzy area with a street called Rodeo Drive. Lots of high-end stores, cafes and restaurants are in this area as well. I wandered around for hours. It seems that if the action is to the right, I go left and vice-versa, but I found things eventually. I didn't buy anything or even go inside the stores because I knew things were super expensive and I had Ian with me, but it was fun to see what is around.

I went to the Croc store in Itaewon, but the biggest size they have is an 8, too small for me so I went to the base. While at the food court (hit the food court at the PX because it is cheaper than off-post and Ian was in no mood for a dining experience since we were really late getting lunch), I ran into my neighbors and their son. It was their son's second day of pre-school and he cried all day and had several potty training accidents. He also refused to eat. While we were eating at the food court, his dad took him to the bathroom and he didn't go. As soon as they got back to the table he peed on the floor. They were supposed to meet friends for dinner so they had to go to the PX and get diapers and new pants for their son. They all had a tough day.

Ian and I went to the PX after we finished eating and I bought a pair of shoes. They are dressier than most of my shoes, but I can walk in them. The Koreans wear high heels everywhere, but I don't think I can wrangle a stroller on these hills in heels. The selection at the PX is really limited and not that cheap but I have hard to fit feet so ordering online is a big pain. I also got a new planner to replace the one I have had since 1995 or 1996. The cover is shredded. And, I bought a notebook to build my Fly Lady Control Journal.

I haven't fully implemented the system, or even done it on the slow schedule, but I have been getting dressed in the morning, making the bed, trying to keep the sink and counters clear and a few other things sporadically. Curt has been great with the system as well! The "15 Minutes" plan has really focused him. He tends to get sidetracked and usually makes a bigger mess than he starts with because he gets overwhelmed. Now, he really focuses and has gotten a lot done. Tonight, we picked up Ian's toys. It seemed like an overwhelming task, but we worked together and in about 15 minutes, it was done. We didn't use the timer, but we had the momentum going so it really worked. I decided to do the control journal because I think that in order to get the full effects of something, you have to by into it for a period of time. I do not want to think about cleaning, but if I take the time to think about cleaning in order to develop routines, my house will be cleaner and I won't have to think about it. We both do better if things are written down. It has been amazing to get up, do the morning routine, look at the clock at realize that it is only 8:30am. I am getting much more done in less time. I need to start getting up at a set time. Often, I just wait for Ian to get up. I can get a lot more done without Ian running around.

There were three bonuses today: we stayed at the PX until Curt was finished with work, so we got a ride home; the replacement shipment for the bedding and towels that were wrongly returned by the mail clerk arrived today; my sister got the call that the Texas storage shipment will be delivered to Georgia today.

Closer to Organized

Today, I worked on the master bedroom and closet to deal with all the clothes we got in the shipment. I was able to hang up or put away a lot of it. There are still a lot of Curt's clothes, mostly t-shirts and sweatshirts that we either need to buy hangers for and buy a dresser. I like to do a rough sort first and then a fine sort. Most professional organizers say to touch the item only once, but that stalls me and gets Curt distracted, so I do a rough sort and put "like with like". Then I focus in on each category and do the keep, toss, giveaway or repurpose categories. It is amazing how much stuff we have. Moving causes a lot of this, plus Curt's buy-in-bulk habit. We have so many clothes and nothing to wear. I got rid of a lot before the movers came and so did Curt, but there is still so much. I think another sort may be in order.

Additionally, I put all of the baby items that Ian has outgrown like clothes, the swing, pack and play, infant carseat, etc., in a storage area. I also put the Christmas ornaments in a closet and the linens in another closet. More sorting will be required, but I think I need to get everything rough sorted before we decide what furniture we need to buy. We are definitely going to need a bookshelf and desk. i am hoping we can go through the clothes enough so that we don't need to buy a dresser, but I am not sure that is possible.

We'll see. Just going to make another pizza for dinner tonight since nothing is defrosted. I'm looking forward to the arrival of my crockpot. I only used it a few times but I can see the possibilities...